WHY ARE YOU KEEPING A SECRET?
-We all have secrets no matter how small it is-
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By Cynthia Jebet|Writer|Story teller|Journalist
I know you are keeping a secret. But why do you feel the need to withhold that piece of information away from people around you so badly? What are you afraid of?
We all have secrets no matter how small it is.As long as we are reluctant to let people know about it , then it is a secret. So, what causes people to hide certain information from others?
The most interesting thing is even small children are very good at keeping secrets, Just imagine the capability of an adult to keep their secrets hidden.
People go to an extent of taking them to their graves. In social media today, we see children emerge claiming that the deceased was their biological father.
What was the motivating factor of the father keeping the information from his immediate family?
A child mistakenly breaks a glass at home and hurriedly collects the broken pieces and dumps them far away where the rest of the family cannot find.
When asked they would deny and mantain their Innocence. Is there something we are overlooking that has encouraged the culture of secret keeping?
Well, I can say as a society we have failed. The elephant in the room is that we have completely disregarded the importance of good communication. Nobody is willing to listen.
We are quick to make judgement without even giving a listening ear to the one involved.
Having good communication practices will make it easy for people to communicate freely.
That child who has committed a mistake will find it easy to explain him/herself. That husband or wife that was unfaithful due to temptation will be able to open up and share the information to their partners.
We are all humans and we are prone to make mistakes. Sometimes the action was so shameful that we would not want to lose credibility from people we care about.
Does this mean that the Society is naturally judgemental? We have seen people suffering from illnesses like Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI)or HIV/AIDS keeping it secret and suffering in silence.
It is obvious that such infections are transmitted mostly through sexual intercourse and the victims always feel that if they share the information they will be judged and stigmatized by the people who should be on their side.
What we don’t know is that this habit of withholding information weighs down on our mental health. Bottling up the information will make one think about it everytime.
Sometimes what we are hiding may not be a big deal but since we don’t share it, it will eventually create an illusion that it is big. The secrets mostly come out anyway.
When that happens the damage it creates is devastating and what you feared will happen and maybe you keeping it a secret will worsen the situation. As a society it’s time we create a safe space for people to communicate and share what bothers them.
This can only happen when me and you take an individual responsibility to learn the art of good listening and avoid judgements. Let’s keep an open mind always.
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