TOGETHER, BUT SO ALONE, THE GREAT PARADOX
The social media togetherness provided is a genius lie, a fallacy of community.Photo/courtesy
By Whitney Gloria
We are in a connected era of all time. After the few taps of the screen, we can see a holiday of a friend, the engagement of a cousin in another part of the world, and discuss all the things in the world, including politics and pop culture. The social media has on the face of it fulfilled its promise it has without a doubt, united us. It has destroyed geography and created digital communities, but there is some murmur ominous resonant in the hearts of many. A sense of lonely deep despairing. This has become the big paradox of our time, we have never been closer,
but we have never felt so isolated.
The social media togetherness provided is a genius lie, a fallacy of community. It binds our profiles, not necessarily our souls. Hundreds of our friends and thousands of our followers, but how many of them would we call during a time of crisis? How many have observed our crude tears, listened to our crude laughter, and sat with us in easy silence? The medium takes us to the party, but we are most of the time yelling into the crowded room where everybody is busy building their own image they are too occupied to listen.
This is because social media is not a real medium of connection, but a performance that has been curated. On our pages we showcase the best moments of our lives, the promotions, the birthday celebrations, the exquisitely prepared dishes. We browse this group act, and it forms a false
reality. As we value our own dishevelled, confounded and frequently mundane life, we are assailed with the perfectly smooth life of all the rest. This endless comparison does not build envy only but also creates a profound feeling of incompetence and alienation. We have been alone in our struggles, and we think we are the only ones who are not living a picture-perfect life.
Moreover, the architecture of these sites is counter intuitive to the richness needed to quench the human heart. Authentic relationship is cultivated on patient, slow mounds of shared experience, active listening, and open dialogue. It is fueled by subtlety, the voice and the intensity of a human presence. Instead, social media exists on the same economy as the quick hit, the likes, the share, and the short-lived remark. It promotes broadcasting rather than conversing, doing rather than reflecting. We send bits and pieces of information, and hardly any of the content of our existence. An emoji cannot fill a heart; a soul cannot be photographed with the help of a filter.
It does not mean that social media should be demonized. It is an effective means that, when applied consciously, can hold connections over distances and seek niche communalities of support. However, a tool can be as good as how is used. We have confused the relationship with
the tool.
Ultimately the statement is of a deep truth. Our digital global identities have been linked by the social media, forming a giant sprawling web of human information. However, it has abandoned our hearts to its own devices since it is not able to recreate the sloppy, gorgeous, and necessary
components of real human connection, weakness, closeness and raw, unfiltered reality. This loneliness cannot be cured by leaving the digital world behind, but it can be cured by placing more emphasis on the analogue one. It is to put the phone aside and look in the eyes of the person seated across. It is to have a talk that is not addressed to an audience. This is to keep in mind that a screen may make us closer to each other, but it is only a common human experience that will make our hearts feel home.
About Author
